Daily Dance Log 2

Today wasn’t as intense as yesterday, it was more of a freestyle. To be in your own character. To be unique. Jason Magsuci taught a piece for us to groove and have fun. At the end he talked about how auditions were coming up, and how we are there to become better dancers. Well in order to become a better dancer, you need to put yourself out there. You know how in every workshop there’s always that group of 5 that goes up to dance or during practice people go in the front. It doesn’t mean that they’re the best. It means that they’re putting themselves out there to grow into a better dancer. You need to put yourself in a position that isn’t comfortable for you because life is never easy. Just go for it and don’t stop. If you do stop, your only stopping yourself. How can you be able to grow when your always stopping yourself? I say just do it. Do it NIKE lol. Do something new.

Daily Dance Log 1

Ohmygoodness, now I know why it’s called summer intensives workshop. It’s because IT’S SO INTENSE!!! It’s so crazyyy that I was sweating my ass off like I never did before haha. My underwear was even wet that’s how sweaty I was! haha ok too much info -.- but I had to put it out there! hahaha. After the workshop everyone just died on the floor or went outside, but me and chubs went to eat at CHIPOTLE! Yes we are fat asses, but I haven’t eaten all day, so I don’t mind aha. When KJ Gonzales did our warm ups in the beg., we had to do 30 push ups and squats…I DIED haha I know it’s not much but DAMM I was sweating already hahhaa. ok enough said I’m getting way into this X]] All in all it was a fun ass workshop.

Grown Ups

It’s another great movie to watch for the summer. Toy story 3, karate kid, and grown ups. I’m still in need to watch Get him to the Greek and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Times. I’m waiting to watch Avatar the last Airbender and Despicable Me!!! Especially Despicable Me, it’s so cute.

Anyways before we went to the movies, we were all excited to go out and watch a movie. Then a lady comes, I didn’t see who, but she ruins everyone’s day by saying, “Your going out watching a movie? When your aunt just died?” I’m sorry, but we just went through a long tragic emotional moment last night and you just come in saying that? It’s not like we all forgot about it. How can we forget about it in the first place? We can’t always stay in, being sad the whole time. Just saying.

RIP MAMA JEAN <3

Mama Jean

It was a Friday evening and my cousins and I were heading to Mama Jean’s house, in modesto. As we arrived, we greeted everyone by blessing all the elderly people. (it’s a Filipino way to show respect to the old people, by holding one of their hands and putting it against your head) My aunt told us to go see Mama Jean and as we walked in, my heart dropped. It was so sad to see her laying on the bed, with her oxygen mask, barely doing anything, all she can do is just listen to people talk. Story is, she has breast cancer. They chopped off her breast, to stop this cancer from spreading, but it was too late. My cousin took her hand and held it tight, we didn’t want her to leave. A tear rolls down my cheek and my cousins Grandma, Grandma Pat, walks in and says “No more mama,” and we all began crying even more. I glanced at Mama Jean’s arms and I ask my cousin why they were bruised. She told me that her blood doesn’t circulate throughout her body correctly. That’s why she has those bruises and my cousin rubs her arms to help make the blood flow. She then tells me to feel her chest, and once I did, I could already feel several tumors. I was shocked. Grandma Pat starts praying in tagalog and at the end of each prayer she repeats “My lord my god, my lord my god, my lord my god please take her now, it’s time for her to go, Please, Please.” It was sad to hear her repeat that and I just wiped every tear I had with the tissue I had in my hand. Mama Jean’s sister and husband begins reading prayers for her death, while more and more people come in. Finishing the prayers, my aunt tells everyone to go up and talk to her or whisper to her. I watched everyone go up to her, holding her hand, bowing their heads to talk to her, crying and wiping their tears. Then my cousin, Paul, came to talk with his sister and asked if anyone wanted to go home, since my brother wanted to go back to my cousins house. Everyone wanted to stay, but asked if they are able to fit in the car on the ride back. My instinct was to go back to my cousins house with them so my cousins would have room in the car ride back. Once Paul, my brother, and I arrived to my cousins house, my uncle calls me and says he needs to get picked up from his work, since everyone used a car to go to Mama Jean’s house and nobody is answering their phones. He tells me to call his daughters or anyone that’s their in the house, so I keep trying to call. Once I got a hold of them, they told me that she just passed away. I was mad and sad at the same time. Mad because I wasn’t there when she passed away, sad because now she’s gone.. I called back my uncle to tell him to wait because of what happened and told everyone that was in the house. It was sad because one day I see her all happy and healthy and the next day she became really sick. Spend time with your loved ones because you don’t know what will happen. Re-make memories or make new ones. This is the story of Mama Jean. This is another motivation for me to help those who have cancer. Join with me to make a difference in lives who are going through a lot. Go walk and donate. Join the Avon walk for breast cancer because your in it to end it. Mama Jean I love you and I hope your having fun up there.

falling in love

Falling in love is a bit like falling asleep. The harder you try to drift into sleep, the more impossible the notion seems. But when you let go—pushing all thoughts of what you attend to accomplish with your face in the pillow and your limbs resting at your side—only then does sleep seem to come. You know when it is beginning to wrap itself around you; the feeling is unmistakeable and quite beautiful. Still, if you become too aware of the feeling it disappears completely and you are back where you started. The trick is to be aware of it just enough to enjoy it, and still let it take over without trying to interfere or speed it up.

It is much the same with falling in love. When we try to force it or make it happen on our own terms, it never goes the way we’d like it to. When thoughts of love are all that fill our mind, the actual thing has a way of avoiding us like the plague. But when our hearts are falling into that strange sensation which no one quite understands, we will know it. We will be able to tell. The trick is to enjoy it, but still keep a good distance. Let it happen as it will unfold, and not how you would prefer it to unfold. Love doesn’t seem to like it much when we step in to its affairs.

no girl

No girl should be treated like shit & pushed to the curb without a reason. No one’s perfect, girls get mad, they get sad, & if they’re jealous, that just shows you how much she wants you. All the good girls are the ones that get taken advantage of. When in reality, they should be treated like a queen, but instead they settle for less, for one simple guy that hurts her everyday & yet she never loved him less.

I take everything & everyone with a grain of salt. I'm pensive, & constantly assessing situations, but for the most part, I over think too much or don't even think at all. I have morals & self respect unlike some people these days. My position in life-who I am, where I come from, who my friends are, & who I'm seen with-are all important to me.